The Swans Are Swimming

According to my beloved Wikipedia, an ear worm is the term for a portion of a song or other musical material that becomes stuck in a person's head or repeats against one's will. A synonym that is sometimes used for an ear worm is Last Song Syndrome, as in whatever song you heard last is the one that will be stuck in your head. This is particularly problematic if you live above someone who plays the guitar and blasts music at all hours of the day and night or if you work with people who like to sing/whistle/hum. When I lived above Ozzy, I could usually count on having either Pat Benatar’s Love is a Battlefield or Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin’ embedded in my mind for days at a time. Even though I’m free of Ozzy, Journey still works its way into my psyche on a disturbingly regular basis. I think it’s that damn piano riff at the beginning that sucks me in and then I’m hooked and find myself belting out lyrics about taking the midnight train going an-y-where!



At my new workplace I seem to have stepped into a world of wannabe karaoke superstars… Actually, sometimes I don’t even think they’re aware they’re doing it. I am though because the songs they’re singing, humming, whistling or tapping out the tune to become lodged in my brain and I then I start singing them too. Or at least I do in my head. I am not a singer and with good reason.

I only worked with one of the guys for two weeks but he’s managed to stick with me for a month after leaving because he used to give a nightly serenade of Drive by The Cars. This was partly for practical reasons, as he’d use the song to ask who was going to give him a ride home at close and partly because it’s a wretched ear worm that demands to be repeated. You see, the lyrics ask “who’s gonna drive you home, tonight?” and he would simply change them to “who’s gonna drive me home, tonight?” I think those were the only lyrics he actually knew, although he would randomly throw in some other ones that may or may not have been made up, if he felt so inclined.



I’ve saved the best ear worm for last though. It’s an obnoxiously catchy song that has been permeating my workplace in the past week. As soon as one person starts it, it circulates at an alarming rate. And curse it though you may, (and you will definitely curse it) you’ll inevitably end up joining in. Just so that you’re not out of the loop, I’ve provided the lyrics for the chorus so you can sing along while you watch the video. Don’t say I didn’t warn you though, this song will be stuck in your head until an equally annoying one pushes it out. Without further ado, I give you Flo Rida with the song Ayer.

Oh hot damn, this is my jam

Keep me partying til the a.m.
Y’all don’t understand
Make me throw my hands in the ayer
In the ayer, ay-ayer, ayer, ay-ayer

Perhaps you’ve noticed that cream puff swans seem suspiciously out of place in a post about ear worms. Here’s the link: I was allowed to play around at work the other day and I made these swans while trying not to hum along to Flo Rida or Christmas tunes, (which also seem to be popular lately). Everything comes full circle.

Mom's Zucchini Relish

Whenever I leave home there are some kitchen staples that I always have to take with me: maple syrup from the sugar bush down the street, Chatsworth Honey and Mom’s zucchini relish. The third item is what we’re going to focus on today. Mom’s zucchini relish is pretty much the only reason I eat hotdogs, (and even then, only if they’re bbq’d, don’t get me started on the disgustingness that is boiled hotdogs). I load up hotdogs with so much relish that they’re unrecognizable. Delicious.

I don’t eat hotdogs for just any relish though, it has to by my Mom’s. I try to make sure that I always have a back up jar in the cupboard because it’s a sad day when I go to retrieve the relish from the fridge and find that the jar has been scraped bare. If I’m at home I need only run downstairs to the fruit cellar where there’s usually a glorious stack of relish jars, begging to be popped open. If I’m away, I try to hold back the tears. A sad day indeed.

Quite frankly just seeing Mom’s relish in the fridge reminds me of home. Who would have thought a jar of relish could be comforting? It’s something I’ve grown up with though and I think most people have strong ties to items from their childhood. Sensory memories such as those associated with taste are particularly strong. Fortunately for me, I get to relive a little bit of my childhood on a regular basis as Mom’s zucchini relish can be made every year so I’ve got a constant supply. If you’d like a taste of my childhood, give this recipe a try. As with most canning recipes, this makes a big batch, but as it’s made with veggies fresh from the garden it’s got to be big to see you through to next year. Mom's recipe is handwritten in an old recipe book which is pretty to look at for its nostalgic value, but not so easy to read so I've copied it for you here.

Mom’s Zucchini Relish

5 zucchini

3 large cucumbers, peeled and seeded

8 green tomatoes, peeled and seeded

6 onions

3 sweet red peppers, seeded

3 apples and/or peaches, peeled and cored

1 small cabbage, cored

¼ cup pickling salt

6 cups cider vinegar

8 cups white sugar

2 T mustard seeds

1 T dry mustard

2 T celery seed

1 T turmeric

¾ cup flour with enough additional vinegar to make a smooth paste

Put first 7 ingredients into a food processor fitted with a shredding blade to grate. You’ll have to do this in stages and have a big bowl to put everything into.

Combine with pickling salt and allow to sit overnight. Drain well.

In a large pot combine the drained veg with the rest of the ingredients except for the flour and extra vinegar. Bring to a boil and then simmer 20-25 minutes.

Add the flour paste and boil for 5 minutes, until thick, stirring constantly.

While hot, pour into sterilized jars and seal.

Makes 8-9 pints.

The Kids Are Alright

My friend Pete is a News Editor for The Homer Index, a newspaper serving the Homer and Litchfield areas of Michigan. (If this sounds familiar, I’ve previously mentioned Pete in this post about roasting chicken). Every week I have the pleasure of opening my inbox to find a copy of Pete’s most recent Word on the Street column. This week Pete wrote about Ryan Michaels, an award-winning journalist who does movie reviews for Heritage Newspapers, Inc. What’s the big deal about an award-winning journalist? This one happens to be 11 years old and he received an honourable mention in the Michigan Press Association’s 2008 Better Newspaper Contest in the category of Local Columnist for a weekly paper with a circulation under 4,000. My friend Pete did not. Of course his initial reaction was to be depressed, and really, who could blame him? Being beat by an 11 year is almost as bad as that time he was beat by a 15 year old girl in a foot race…

But I digress… I could feel Pete’s pain because earlier in the day I had listened to a CBC radio interview with Luke Hayes-Alexander, (you can listen to the podcast in the archives under Eating and Dining Locally). Who? That would be 17 year old Executive Chef Luke Hayes-Alexander who plans the menu and cooks using locally sourced ingredients at his restaurant Luke’s! in Kingston, Ontario. He’s only 17 and he's a phenomenally good chef. What's more is that he's articulate and humble about that whole thing too. He became obsessed with food at age 11 and took off from there. And what am I doing with my life? Certainly not running things like Luke.

After initially hearing the interview I had the same reaction as Pete, depression. But after thinking about it for a while I came to another conclusion; that this might actually be a good sign. Maybe the kids are alright after all. Given all the horror stories told on the news involving the youth of today it’s kinda nice to hear that they’re not all bad. An optimist could even go so far as to hope that these youngsters are starting to become the rule as opposed to the exception. I can’t say that I’m not jealous of their success, but I’m happy they’re having it nonetheless. Pete also eventually admits that although he may have lost out on the award, he’s fallen to a worthy foe. Yes, the kids are alright. You should check out Pete’s website to read more of his articles which are always entertaining, informative and written with a sense of humour that I just can’t get enough of, (case in point: this article about Pete’s ongoing fight with Canada which began a few years ago when he, an American, voted in a Canadian Federal Election).

But back to the food… In honour of the little ones, I’m going against my ‘Go Big or Go Home’ slogan and posting a series of mini pies. They’re all made with Dorie’s Good for Almost Everything Pie Dough and were created to use up leftover dough or ingredients from other projects. None of them have recipes to go with them, other than the star pie which is actually Dorie’s Thanksgiving Twofer Pie, (pumpkin and pecan in one). I made a large version of that for Canadian Thanksgiving, which was this past weekend. The trio of pies are apple with maple caramel inside because I had leftover maple caramel and decided pie was the place for it to go. And the other pie is actually more of a pear crisp set on a pie shell, with sugar dusted pie dough scraps as garnish. I called it Pear Pie for One and was inspired to make it after watching Flight of the Conchords one night and hearing Bret sing about making a Lasagna for One. So there you have it, mini pies to salute the kids. I know I can’t beat them, I can only keep doing what I do and hope that the young ones will continue to flourish and subsequently support me when I get old. Or better yet, maybe I should consider becoming a cougar so I can snag one of those go-getters for myself… Hello Life Sponsor!

A Story for Every Flavour

You know how much I love ice cream, right? So it should be of no surprise that I don't care what the weather is like outside, I'm going to keep on making ice cream. If you're one of those people who only eats ice cream when it's hot outside, I have this to say: It's always hot somewhere so if you're in the Northern hemisphere and preparing for cold weather, I can recommend lovely Australia as the place to go for sunshine and eternal enjoyment of ice cream. So without further ado here are a sampling of a few of the ice creams I've recently made. You can find all of these recipes in David Lebovitz's The Perfect Scoop. A book every ice cream enthusiast should own.

Chocolate-Peanut Butter Ice Cream: The first time I had chocolate peanut butter ice cream was to impress a boy. It was his favourite flavour but I had never had it before and ordered it just to show him I had good taste. He also introduced me to cherry flavoured candy canes and although I like them both to this day, the boy is long gone. Lobovitz’s Chocolate-Peanut Butter Ice Cream wasn’t quite the same as the first cone I had but it’s awfully good when sandwiched between cookies.

Rich Vanilla Frozen Yogurt: This one is made by first straining regular yogurt, (or using Greek yogurt if you have access to it) until it’s thick and the results are phenomenal. I was hooked on this for a while and made batch after batch. That’s saying a lot for the girl who doesn’t like to make anything twice. It’s the perfect base for any add in of your choice but I liked it best with fresh fruit on top. I even ate it for breakfast with fruit and granola. What? It’s yogurt, it’s practically health food.

Fresh Mint Ice Cream with Fudge Ripple: I am a big fan of chocolate mint combos, especially if they come in the form of Girl Guide cookies. I was a Girl Guide for exactly one year and it may have been just so that I could eat a ridiculous amount of thin mint cookies. I haven’t laid my hands on a box of those in ages but I know if I did they would disappear in seconds. This Fresh Min Ice Cream was good on its own, but better with the Fudge Ripple.

Peach Ice Cream with Blueberry Sauce: I’ve struggled with peach ice cream this year. I’ve made it a few times and a few different ways and I’ve been somewhat disappointed each time. I don’t think the ice cream recipes have been the problem, I think it’s the quality of the peaches. Good peaches have been hard to find this year, they haven’t been sweet enough and consequently my ice creams have suffered. Coating the ice cream with blueberry sauce definitely helped make it better though.

Guinness-Milk Chocolate Ice Cream: I wanted to love this ice cream, I really did. I adored the intro story that David told, (he essentially described it as boy-bait) and I wanted to make it right away. Sadly I didn’t love the results, but once again, this is not the fault of the recipe. I decided that I don’t actually like Guinness and therefore didn’t like the ice cream. I kept eating it though because when you first take a bite all you taste is chocolate but the aftertaste is definitively Guinness. The Guinness makes the ice cream incredibly creamy though and I’m certain that this ice cream would win over many people but sadly I was not one of them.

Olive Oil Ice Cream with Lemon: Most people wrinkled their noses at me when I told them I made olive oil ice cream, and if your nose is currently wrinkled, unwrinkle it! The ice cream doesn’t taste overwhelmingly of olive oil, it’s just unbelievably creamy. I used a fruity olive oil from New Zealand and took David’s suggestion of infusing the olive oil with lemon zest. I’d be interested in trying it with orange and lime zest as well. I sneak citrus zest into a lot of things, I love the flavour it lends and zest is a fun word to say.

Fresh Ginger Ice Cream: I like ginger. I like it pickled with sushi, ground in desserts, grated in stir fries, candied and dipped in chocolate. I like it lots of ways. I like it in ice cream and especially when served over a Dorie Apple-Cranberry Crisp. Perfect for fall. Perfect for anytime.

Aztec “Hot” Chocolate Ice Cream: This one was definitely spicy. I like it that way though. It’s a confusing sort of ice cream as the temperature of the ice cream is obviously cold but after swallowing it your mouth is curiously on fire. I tried to dress up the ice cream by torching a marshmallow on top but stupid me forgot that ice cream + fire = ice cream soup. Only the top layer turned to liquid, it was still solid underneath and I love toasted marshmallows so I guess it was worth it. That reminds me, I want to make a toasted marshmallow ice cream…

I’ve also made David’s Super Lemon Ice Cream but the pictures are still in my camera and I have plans to make his Chocolate Raspberry Ice Cream next. Stories for another day.

Baking and Lists

Dorie has been writing a 3 part series for Bon Appetit teaching us all how to be better bakers. In the first installment, (October’s issue) Dorie gave us a recipe for a savoury quick bread that includes one of my favourite ingredients, bacon. The loaf, (pictured here with a beautiful dahlia from the garden) is great on its own as it also includes cheddar, dried pears, walnuts and sage, but I like it toasted with a little honey on top.

Dorie’s second baking article appears in the November issue of Bon Appetit and as I read it I found myself nodding along in agreement. Dorie mentions unearthling a scrap of paper that says “Exercise more; take a drawing class; learn Spanish; tackle War and Peace.”

Although War and Peace has never quite made it onto on of my many to-do lists, exercise is always there and take a drawing class and learn Spanish have also made appearances. Last year I actually took the drawing class although I can’t say I’ve drawn a single thing since it ended. I also made a half-assed attempt at learning Spanish by downloading conversational Spanish lessons to my iPod and listening to them repeatedly. I eventually got bored of those and didn’t learn Spanish, unless you count being able to greet someone and give directions on how to take the bus to the supermarket.

One of my never ending lists is a “Stuff to Post” list where I have a wealth of my cooking and baking exploits. Today I’m able to remove part of the Dorie section as I share with you Pecan Brown Sugar Shortbread, Bill’s Big Carrot Cake, Alsatian Apple Tart, Cream Scones, (with raspberries) Cornmeal Shortbread Cookies, (with lemon zest) and Fresh Ginger Chocolate Gingerbread, (with lime cream cheese icing) all from Baking From My Home to Yours. Anything listed in brackets was my own additional to the already superb recipes. I enjoy an opportunity to add cream cheese icing to anything and it pairs wonderfully with chocolate gingerbread cake.

Sometimes the things that make my non cooking related lists are pretty unattainable, like ‘acquire a life sponsor’. Other times I write down simple things like ‘do laundry’ just so that I can have the satisfaction of crossing it off the list. I’m currently accepting suggestions for things to add to my list, I’m feeling the urge to try something new, so send your ideas my way. I’d also be happy to hear some of the things on your lists and if they ever actually get done.

Bacon Cheddar Quick Bread with Dried Pears, (from Dorie Greenspan via the October, 2008 issue of Bon Appetit)

5 bacon slices, chopped

1 cup coarsely grated extra-sharp cheddar cheese plus 1/2 cup 1/4-inch cubes extra-sharp cheddar cheese (about 6 ounces total)

1 cup finely chopped moist dried pears (about 3 1/2 ounces)

1/3 cup walnuts, toasted, chopped

1 tablespoon minced fresh sage

1 3/4 cups all purpose flour

1 tablespoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper

3 large eggs

1/3 cup whole milk

1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil

Position rack in center of oven and preheat to 350°F. Generously butter 8 1/2 x 4 1/2 x 2 1/2-inch metal loaf pan. Cook bacon in large skillet over medium heat until crisp. Transfer bacon to paper towels to drain.

Combine bacon, all cheese, dried pears, walnuts, and sage in medium bowl. Whisk flour, baking powder, salt, and black pepper in large bowl to blend. Whisk eggs, milk, and olive oil in another medium bowl to blend. Pour egg mixture over flour mixture and stir just until dry ingredients are moistened. Add bacon-cheese mixture and stir until incorporated (dough will be very sticky). Transfer dough to prepared loaf pan; spread evenly.

Bake bread until golden on top and slender knife inserted into center of bread comes out clean, about 55 minutes. Cool bread in pan 5 minutes, then turn out onto rack and cool completely. DO AHEAD Can be made 1 day ahead. Wrap in plastic, then foil, and store at room temperature.

Black Forest Cake

“I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.” That’s a Mitch Hedberg quote and he makes me laugh. He’s also a good source of inspiration for blog posts because he has a lot of one liners about food. This post is kinda like that Mitch quote. I wanted to write a blog post, but my brain didn’t have one. So I posted a cake. I actually made this cake in July for Mom’s birthday. As always, it had to be a black forest cake but I refused to make it the ordinary way and instead roasted the cherries for the filling in balsamic vinegar for a bit of a change. That was an excellent substitution. It was around that time that I first made balsamic roasted strawberry ice cream and fell in love with it so it was only natural that I gave cherries the same treatment. I’ve been meaning to do the same thing with peaches and I think it might happen yet. Possibly in ice cream form… Definitely in ice cream form.

There’s no specific recipe for this cake, it was cobbled together from a few different sources. The cake is the chocolate cake recipe from the cover of Dorie’s book. The filling is my own. And the frosting is simply a kirsch scented, lightly sweetened whipped cream. I wish I had more occasions to make layer cakes. I also wish that Mitch Hedberg wasn’t dead so he could come up with more great lines like “My friend was walking down the street and he said, "I hear music." As if there is any other way of taking it in. I tried to taste it, but it did not work.”